Live…Learn…Lead

Ever have one of those days where you have laughed and laughed and laughed, but it has been in equal proportion to the amount you have pondered. One of those days where God has allowed you to tear your heart open and give more than generously to those who have helped you grow, only to turn around and ensure that your conscience moves you to also give to those who will never know your name, nor will ever be able to repay your kindness. Those days where you have moment after moment where you are walking on clouds, but occasionally hands wrap around your ankles and pull you back down to ensure that your feet are firmly planted on the ground. Days where every other minute of the day someone is beaming while telling you how absolutely wonderful you are and how you have changed their lives, only every opposite minute to have someone very lovingly remind you how much you still have to grow as a person and how much work your spirit still has left to do. Ever have one of those days where you just can’t decide whether it was good or bad, mediocre or brilliant?

Well I had one of those days today! I don’t know what it was meant to teach me, I don’t know, yet, what I’m meant to do with the lesson, but I know in the days to come the Universe will very faithfully let me know what today was all about and how it is I am to move forward with this new knowledge and these new emotions. Life I have learned over the last few years, very clearly, is a journey, not a precise destination…oh and I am thoroughly enjoying the drive, the ride, the flight…headwinds and tailwinds, the smooth parts of the road and the bumps, the curved tracks and the straight ones. Every day I am learning something new about myself or the people around me, but I now put that lesson into practice. It is no more passive learning, it is practical.

Once I learned about grace, I also learned to carry it in my heart at all times. Once I learned about trust, I learned to share it wisely and not loosely give it away. Once I learned about unconditional love I learned that you must always extend love to that person for it is not conditioned upon anything, not even upon the fact that they must love you back. Once I learned about inspiration, I knew life would just never be the same.

The lessons of grace allow me to extend compassion to the girl who once attempted to malign my character. The lessons of love allow me to inspire a man who once had broken me at my core. Along the same lines, the lessons of grace allow me to love so many more people in such a more complete manner than I had ever imagined possible and the lessons of inspiration only continue to bring into my life one amazing soul after another.

Every day, regardless of what happens, I know is a fantastic one. Every day, I am joyful for I know that in each moment that I act from the clearest space within me, that I am on the road that I have been asked to travel and there is no greater joy than waking up to see in which direction the road will turn today!

It is my sincerest hope that you are moving along your destined road, and just in case you’re not and you are hoping to find your way there then I say start by listening to that little voice within you, and follow it blindly…don’t think through it flow with it. Mend what’s broken, heal what’s hurt, and if ever you’re not sure which way to turn…close your eyes, fold your hands and just ask!

Until next time, I wish you travels filled with joy in abundance!

Imagine for a second that your heart is a jigsaw puzzle. Every time you love someone, a child, a parent, a friend, a lover you are in essence giving one of the puzzle pieces to them.  Puzzle pieces are specific in size and shape and each piece is carefully selected and placed together so that the picture is clearly visible.  This picture the heart always wants to create is one of joy, peace and sheer contentment.  Now imagine one of the pieces goes missing, so in essence someone you love dies or walks out of your life.  What do you do with the now empty space in your puzzle?  It is such a specific shape, it is such a specific size, and it has such specific detail to complete your picture.  Imagine the effort that has to go into replacing this piece. As people enter and exit our lives, we are forced to find replacements that will best hold the picture together.  And anything that is forced into place, in time, does not display a clear picture.  Imagine torn puzzle pieces, pieces intentionally cut to size, glue marks, scotch tape all holding the picture together, it is bound to distort the picture quality.  Ultimately puzzles have a limited number of pieces and you will, in essence, have space in your heart for only a limited number of people, places and things.

What if we were, for a few seconds now, able to imagine our hearts as without shape, without form or without size?  Each person, each circumstance and each experience finding its own special place within our heartspace for eternity.  What if we thought of our hearts more like a painting in progress as opposed to a puzzle.  The puzzle has a predefined picture, or outcome, the painting is only an idea of the outcome and can be adapted, added to, and developed into the image that reflects our lives.  This would then mean that once someone is painted onto our canvas, they stay there for eternity and as they or experiences related to them enter and exit our lives we develop that end of the painting adding more color, more detail and in essence giving our “picture” more character.  This then allows innumerable number of people to enter our spaces of reference and an equal number of experiences to influence us.  For those of you wondering how you cut someone out of your painting, put that big black X over them? My answer is you don’t…you can’t paint over anything or anyone.  Let’s face it if an experience has hurt you that badly you’re never going to forget it, that hurt will stay within you until you are ready to let it go with grace, and when you do let it go with grace, it becomes nothing more than an element that adds depth to your painting.

I walked around for so many years using my heart as a jigsaw puzzle, until I realized how many more people I could love, how many more experiences good and hurtful I could welcome, and how much deeper my emotion could be if I sat patiently and painted on my canvas as opposed to constantly trying to strategize how to make my puzzle fit together.  There is no more pressure to find that specific someone, there is no more fear that an adequate replacement will not be found, there is no urgency for filling a void, for there are no voids any more.  Just an open canvas, lots of colors, and an imagination ready to give, receive and create.

Love, I know, is not limiting.  It doesn’t fill up pockets or spaces in your heart so that when someone or something leaves or doesn’t work out as we envisioned it leaves a hole, which requires to be filled, it is instead infused with the essence or the spirit of the being so that even when someone leaves there is no void, instead the essence of the spirit still resides and there is abundant room for more.

Wishing you love in absolute and plentiful abundance!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

A lesson, I have learned, is only as good as what you do with the learning. For instance, if you put your hand into the fire and got burned, but turned around the next day and did it again, then you did nothing with the lesson you learned yesterday. 2011 has been an eventful year for me, both personally and professionally and at the risk of just letting another year roll by into the next, I decided to take a step back and pen down a few of the lessons the universe asked me to learn or learning I was asked to strengthen this year, and although many of the lessons below, now, live within my spirit, the effort is still on to imbibe the rest.

Intention is Key: Whether it is as simple as a facebook post or as large as the terms of a multi-million dollar contract you are negotiating, the intention with which you take an action will determine not only the base of your character, but also the successful outcome of your action.

Say Thank You: Saying “thank you” is just good manners, but when we start to see that every success, be it a promotion or the birth of a child, and every challenge, be it a non-passing grade or a failed relationship, brings with it an opportunity to be thankful then all of a sudden we start seeing more of the things that are good instead of bad, so when gratitude lives at your core, life just becomes easier to embrace.

Embrace the new: We are designed for routine and take comfort in following patterns that are familiar to us, and although the change that has happened may not always be what you planned, if you welcome it with open arms, you will be pleasantly surprised to see it lead you forward in some of the most unexpected ways.

No matter how deep the hurt, it will heal: Find friends who will remind you to be grateful for the pain and all it is teaching you, find friends who will let you cry anywhere, anytime, find friends who know that a chocolate overload brownie from Theobroma can work wonders for the soul. No matter how bad you think it is today, I promise you it will be better tomorrow!

Support another’s dreams: Invest your faith and time in someone else’s success, personal or professional. Help that person get a job contract they want, step in and heal a broken friendship, put your hand on his shoulder just because that’s what he needs. Let them know you believe in the best that resides within them. Magic will begin to happen in their lives and in yours.

The only person you can change is yourself: You can guide a person to the path of success, but whether or not they choose to walk on that path is a personal choice they have to make. Instead of forcing another onto a path you want them to walk, focus on your own. Change your beliefs; change your reaction to the person or situation. Leave them to their journey, you focus on yours!

When someone shows you who they are believe them: This was a lesson I learned as I heard Oprah talk about what Maya Angelou had taught her. If someone tells you they are selfish, or arrogant or rude believe them they know themselves better than you do. If they behaved badly with someone else, know this, they will do the same with you. Choose wisely whose company you keep.

The company you keep will determine the future you have: Surround yourself with thieves and you will become a thief, at the least you will be perceived as one. The company you keep will demand a certain work ethic, a particular value system and a distinct level of success. Do the people in your inner circle reflect the person you want to be?

As the year draws to a close, do take a minute to look back at all you have been asked to learn. Do share, with me, some of your year’s greatest milestones. I would love to read them.

Until we meet next, I wish for you lessons taught with kindness, received with grace, and practiced with gratitude!

Happiest New Year!

I am normally not a fan of the cold at all, but come November, I love the cool nip in the air back home, in America.  School begins to wrap up for the holiday, the smell of warm apple cider or fresh pumpkin pie seems to greet you as soon as you walk into the mall, the music on the radio reflects the beginnings of the “festive” season and there are always an abundance of smiles to go around.  The fourth Thursday in November brings with it Thanksgiving Day, my most favorite holiday in the world.

The history of this holiday goes something like this, the pilgrims escaping religious persecution from countries in Europe landed at Plymouth Rock (Massachusetts) in 1620.  The first winter there was devastating.  However, in 1621 the farmers reaped a great harvest, due in large portion to the help they had received from the Native Americans, who gave the pilgrims seeds and taught them how to fish.  The Pilgrims and the Native Americans celebrated this abundant harvest with a great feast of thanksgiving.  This feast of thanksgiving was not repeated again until 1676.  By 1777 all 13 U.S. colonies began participating in some sort of thanksgiving feast to celebrate the harvest and in 1863 President Abraham Lincoln officially commemorated this gesture of togetherness and gratitude by officially declaring it the thanksgiving holiday.

Today, centuries later, the holiday is celebrated in many countries, across the world.  It has become a day where families come together and those without families are welcomed graciously into homes as though they really are family.  The spirit of generosity lives large as soup kitchens and homeless shelters are flooded with volunteers, food, warm clothing and blankets.  It is a time where children spend time with the elders in their family, cooking meals from scratch in the kitchen and hear stories of what life was like for the generations before them.  Most importantly family and friends sit around the table for a meal together.  As tradition has it, in many homes, including mine, we go around the table and say what we are most thankful for during the past year.

The attitude of gratitude was inculcated in my sister and me from a very early age, but I suppose as children it was hard to understand the magnitude and the power of gratitude.  Today I understand that living in a space of constant thankfulness only brings my way more things to be thankful about.  Living in a space of thankfulness creates a momentum of energy that brings forth joy, patience, and kindness unlike most anything else.  After all, appreciation, gratitude and love are the three highest forms of vibration we can offer the universe.

Thanksgiving, to me, signifies so much of what is good, pure, kind and loving in this world.  I will miss my family on November 24^th, but I will be so very thankful for all my sweet friends who will help me pull my own version of Thanksgiving together, in what has now become my home away from home.

I encourage you to bring your friends and family together for a meal on Thursday and as “uncomfortable” as it may seem initially, trying sharing with one other the things you are most thankful for in this world.  Send me your thanksgiving stories or how you have started to add the attitude of gratitude into your life, I would love to read them.

Wishing for you a long list of things to be thankful for today, tomorrow and always!

I am a huge believer in the universe and listening to what it is asking us to do and how it is asking us to move forward on our most divine journeys. However a particular conversation a few weeks ago, with someone I care for very dearly, got me questioning so much of what I have believed for so long. He made a choice, which I could clearly see as destructive not only for himself, but also for all those who would be affected by this one choice, of his. He very seriously, looked straight at me and said, “Freyaz, if it wasn’t meant for me, the universe would not have led me to it.” Somewhere I knew he was saying what I believed, but I wasn’t able to reconcile his words within my spirit. Needless to say it was not a conversation that left me very easily.

After much reflection, here is what came to me. Before I explain though, I should mention, I am no religious expert and so what I offer here is simply my humble understanding of the universe and how in my very personal opinion, it functions. The way I understand it forces for good and forces for evil function as “equal” forces in this universe, so just as the forces of good create opportunities for us to rise higher and move forward on our divine paths, the forces of evil too create opportunities for us to fall and move further away from our divine destination.

The beauty of it all is that you can’t always tell at first blush whether it is an opportunity brought your way by the forces of good or a pebble put in your path by the forces of evil. It has been my experience that the way to decide which opportunity to accept and which to move away from is by looking within. If it is “right” for you it will be founded in love, in other words the opportunity will build, unite, or strengthen both you and those around you bringing more opportunities of joy and success for all those affected by the situation. If it is “wrong” for you, then this opportunity will be founded in fear, in other words the opportunity will, if not immediately, then in time, destroy, divide, or weaken you and/or those around you leading to lower self-respect, broken relationships and emotions such as hatred, revenge and insurmountable amounts of pain.

Here’s the other thing about a universe of equal forces. One side will bring you to follow your passion and start building a business you have wanted your whole life, at the same time the other side will bring you a job which will offer you more money than you have ever earned before. What a dilemma? Which force brought which opportunity your way? Which do you give up and which do you choose? My answer is look within. Are you choosing the job because of insurmountable financial fear or greed? Or Are you choosing the job because you have responsibilities to family, and to creditors which must be met? Are you choosing the business because now your ego is involved and you can’t let it go? Or Are you choosing it because, in time, it will leave a legacy of financial success for your children?

The universe talks to us every day. It brings our way everything we need to succeed and fail. It brings to us people who will walk with us to our most divinest of destinies and it will bring our way people who will gently hold our hands and lead us as far away as possible from where we are meant to be. It is up to each of us to understand what is being said and then to choose accordingly.

As you journey forward towards your best life I wish you courage to look within yourself, wisdom to make the right choices for yourself and patience, in abundance, as you fall and rise on this journey!